Archive for June, 2006

Cambridge and The Convent

Thursday, June 29th, 2006

Firstly, to those who have come here while searching for The Convent – I do apologise for not having watched it last night. Therefore you will not find anything remotely interesting here. Oh, apart from me :) I’m a jolly interesting chap.

What a wonderful day in Cambridge! I turned up a bit late but The Shifty Gnome was very forgiving. He took me for sausage and mash in quite the busiest pub in Cambridge, and then we poodled around the villages surrounding Madingley – and then my host took me to the biggest Tescos in Europe (one of his fave places according to Amy) which happens to be but a few miles away. In fact we think it is our closest shop!

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They experiment on me, apparently.

Then the accomodation renty person came and gave me my keys, and Gnome and I listened while he said a lot of things neither of us will remember, in an amusingly David Brent way, but he was nice enough. It seems it is the renting persons job to make the previous tenant seem really evil, by way of blaming any problems with the property on them and showing you how not to do it, but he was really struggling with Bob (identity has been protected). It appears the sum of Bobs sins was to put a couple of posters up with blue tack and not keep the garden as trim as it could be (I don’t think we will either). He even left us a hangy rail. If you have any curtains you would like to sell Bob, let us know.

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Then the Gnome and I set about measuring and drawing clever little floorplans – I am afraid I had to be rather helped out, i am not very good at this kind of man thing (I’ll beat you in a pig roasting competition any day tho grrrr)

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We seemed to be ousting a current inhabitant though – but we shall let him stay for the minute;

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The all important pub

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Gnome leads the way;

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Probably going back with camping gear this weekend. Tossing up whether or not to go to the canterbury ordinations on Sat morning though, to see Hobbers getting ontologised. Flip a coin for me?

Vicarman?

Tuesday, June 27th, 2006

Off to Cambridge today to collect the keys to our cottage! Very excited. Also going to meet up with The Shifty Gnome, which should be great – can’t wait! Then we/I will take pictures of every square inch and measure every wall and space, so that we can organise furniture and the like. Spent half an hour last night wrestling with floor plan designers on my laptop before decided pencil and paper was probably a lot simpler.

Have rediscovered the wonder of Articulate, the divorce game! Amy and I have found a way to limit the damage that losing against two people who don’t know each other can do by always playing on different teams. Had a strangely prophetic moment with evangelist when he was trying to get me to guess a person. He said that he was a “medieval evil bearded guy”. After trying Henry and a couple of other stupid ideas I then said, as the egg time was about to run out “Rasputin!”

This was correct. I’m a bit worried now.

My home life is really starting to feel like something out of an Adrian Plass book. Perhaps it always has, and my recent reading through his entire fiction series has just highlighted it all the more. Last night at the dinner table I told a joke right out of the third sacred diary. It is thus;

A recent study shows that the students of teachers who take drugs will live to a much higher age than the students of more straight laced teachers. This is because when a teacher takes drugs – his pupils dilate.

Get it. Die-Late.

Well I got it slightly wrong and started saying that the students of teachers who take drugs do much better at school and then I realised this was the wrong tree to be barking at so to speak and continued in the correct fashion. It was still funny – and everyone laughed, but then Amy started accusing me of telling it wrong. Apparently this was the wrong punch line, it wasn’t about pupils dilating. But it is.

Apparently there is another joke about students doing better. I’m so confused. Either way she spent the journey to work calling me fleshly and poking my ever growing stomach. As did Evangelist (except without the poking)

The Dean has just walked in looking very worried and asking cautiously “Has anyone seen my canons?” I will miss this place, I really will.

Next week Tired and Emotional is coming to town, as we just found out he works quite close to where we live and he appears to be quite a ledge bloke (ledge is short for legend, which is more along the lines of a rock or pop legend than a legend you might find on a map, for example – it does not in any way mean precipice, mantelpiece or cliff). Looking forward to that also :)

Now filling out the forms for Ridley. They are as follows;

Room allocations and Contact Details (pink)
Bank details (blue)
Reply Slip for 23/24 Sept (cream)
Skills check list (white)
Cambridge Theological Federation Registration Form (yellow)
Preparing for Study in Cambridge (green)
Possible sources of grants for ordinand (lilac)
What to bring when you come to Ridley Hall (orange)

Also included were a white information form and a gold spice form.

They have requested 5 passport sized photographs – do you have any idea how many of those blasted machines I have sat in throughout the selection process? Do you know how much they cost? Couldn’t I just send a sample of my hair?

Ridley Hall – keeping the producers of coloured paper in business since 1881.

Blog correction

Saturday, June 24th, 2006

The top paragraph of the last blog was meant to be;

On Friday evening Amy and I attended a fair trade clothing fashion show, quickly followed by a vestment show in the Cathedral. In fact, I was one of the models. The event was put on by Anna Shepherd and her husband did the music which was very good. Although I am not sure why, when the music was supposed to be “calm and slow” for the vestments section, the track “Praise You” by Fatboy Slim started as I went up. How does one boogey when wearing ones vestments?

How to Cope

Saturday, June 24th, 2006

On Friday evening Amy and I attended a fair trade clothing fashion show, quickly followed by a vestment show in the Cathedral. In fact, I was one of the models. The event was put on by Anna Shepherd and her husband

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This was a chinese chasuble given to the Cathedral when it was rebuilt. Very fetching.

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This is Daffers doing a neat impression of a Porcelyn Bell

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This was what is called a Cope (hence the amusing title), and it is jolly heavy. It pushes your arms down so you don’t fiddle with your hair when you are nervous. I’m sure they serve another purpose too…

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I think I receded from the stage particularily nicely.

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This is a group piccy of all of us at the end (I’m the fuzzy one at the side)

It was meant to be a bit of fun, but actually the wonderful needlework and design really inspired me. Slightly annoyed by all the other clergy/ordinands in the group constantly saying “They won’t teach you that at Ridley.” Partly because they are correct, but I am glad I didn’t choose my college on how well they train their ordinands to use vestments!

Amy says Mama has offered to start her needlework up again for an ordination gift, which is surprisingly exciting, and I need to form some opinions. Apparently she would have killed to be there. I hope the photos suffice :)

Youth and the Convent

Thursday, June 22nd, 2006

No Youth hasn’t moved into a Convent – although she has decided she wants to after watching it on BBC2 last night. However Youth has now moved into a little terraced house round the corner from St Marys Leamington, with whom she has been doing Pathway. It’s a cute little room with a sloping roof, with three outside walls, nice living room and kitchen and two others in the house. She’s very happy, and so are we.

Although I got quite emotional moving her in. We have got very used to her, and her washing up skills, and we’ll miss her a lot. Have to make sure we see her occasionally before we go, although we are very bad at seeing friends who live close by. Nice to have a slightly quieter house, and Evangelist is going in a week, so that’ll be sad too but also good. Glad that he’s leaving now after we have become better friends again.

The Convent was fun wasn’t it? Isn’t that lady with the two fellas a funny one? Obviously Iona will get the least out of it, because of her quite recent conversion, but some of the others are really getting into it. Fascinated by blonde lady (the one who isn’t Iona) going absolutely mad because the words Jesus spoke to her in a guided meditation the day before turned up in the reading at mass. She kept saying “But how does he know?!” as if the omniscience of God was a completely new idea to her. I thought it was a strange reaction to be going so nuts over God speaking to you, but I have seen the same thing with people before – when they suddenly realise they aren’t alone in their heads!

The nuns are all wonderful, and although their attempts at apologetics and answering the ladies questions were quite pitiful, their spiritual direction was second to none, absolutely brilliant. Really loving and gentle and understanding.

Youth and the Convent

Thursday, June 22nd, 2006

No Youth hasn’t moved into a Convent – although she has decided she wants to after watching it on BBC2 last night. However Youth has now moved into a little terraced house round the corner from St Marys Leamington, with whom she has been doing Pathway. It’s a cute little room with a sloping roof, with three outside walls, nice living room and kitchen and two others in the house. She’s very happy, and so are we.

Although I got quite emotional moving her in. We have got very used to her, and her washing up skills, and we’ll miss her a lot. Have to make sure we see her occasionally before we go, although we are very bad at seeing friends who live close by. Nice to have a slightly quieter house, and Evangelist is going in a week, so that’ll be sad too but also good. Glad that he’s leaving now after we have become better friends again.

The Convent was fun wasn’t it? Isn’t that lady with the two fellas a funny one? Obviously Iona will get the least out of it, because of her quite recent conversion, but some of the others are really getting into it. Fascinated by blonde lady (the one who isn’t Iona) going absolutely mad because the words Jesus spoke to her in a guided meditation the day before turned up in the reading at mass. She kept saying “But how does he know?!” as if the omniscience of God was a completely new idea to her. I thought it was a strange reaction to be going so nuts over God speaking to you, but I have seen the same thing with people before – when they suddenly realise they aren’t alone in their heads!

The nuns are all wonderful, and although their attempts at apologetics and answering the ladies questions were quite pitiful, their spiritual direction was second to none, absolutely brilliant. Really loving and gentle and understanding.

Milestone

Wednesday, June 21st, 2006

Sorry to blog so soon so quickly, but my blog has just reached 1000 visitors since it began. Famous I am.

Aren’t I?

Wycliffe Ordinand on Placement

Wednesday, June 21st, 2006

How funny.

Today a married couple from the other place started their placement with us (he is an ordinand, she is a Church Army Evangelist in training), Sean and Gaby (sp?), and this morning they were introduced in Staff Meeting.

It was as he was introduced as Sean I realised that yesterday I linked to his blog in my wiblinks! For some reason I included him despite not updating since Feb, having faith in the idea he would soon continue.

So the first thing I said to him this morning was “Why haven’t you been blogging!?”

A very amiable and friendly conversation followed, until I was told by the welcomer who they were shadowing I was in the way, so I said tara soon after. We had originally offered to put them up in our house, but we were deemed to live too far away so they are staying in Cov. They seem really lovely people.

Perhaps pressuring people to update their blogs is a calling. Certainly seems strangely prophetic.

Preaching and Tongues

Tuesday, June 20th, 2006

Sermonising seemed to go well; interesting that what I actually said bore little resemblance to what I wrote out the night before (and here on blog). At 8am I took out all references to modern culture and most of the humour to keep it under 8 minutes, at 10 I did the whole shibbang plus talking about snails which I think was about 15 minutes and at 6:30 I entirely changed the tone of it because of a recently bereaved couple in the congregation – and added in a whole load about Jesus weeping for Lazarus. First time I have been so dynamic with a sermon and quite pleased I still have it in me after all this time.

Can’t wait to actually have some training on how to do it though, I heard that structure is quite important these days…

This past weekend Youth went on her Alpha away day, and although it was a mixed weekend (some bad stuff happened) she also experienced God in quite a powerful way (just really, really just)

She phoned me up on Saturday night and said “Tiffer guess what – we was all praying and stuff and suddenly all this gibberish start coming out of my mouth and it was so cool and my hands felt really hot even though they were cold against my face and…” etc.

I come from a charismatic background, although I would probably be nearer post-charismatic now. However for me the jury has still been out on tongues – particularily this type, as in the bible it is usually used as part of prophecy (ie with an interpretation). I am sure there are those that make it up (people who have “a bit of a tongue” are one example, where you just pick a herb and repeat it endlessly) but the personal integrity of many of my good friends in my first church who spoke in tongues in small group would win me over on that front.

The thing is, I have never been able to. I have earnestly sought, and not received, and been quite content with that. I do not think that it is something given to everyone, largely because it is impossible to prove that it is.

Like most things in the spiritual realm it is hard to believe something wholeheartedly until it happens to you, but actually I have come a lot closer now that this has happened to Nikki. It is such a blessing to know someone so brutally honest, so unafraid of being made a fool (she even told her mum!).

In other news, please pray for Heliflower – as today is a hard day for her – see why here.

Sermon for 18th June

Saturday, June 17th, 2006

Here is the text of my sermon, which will be given tomorrow to St Margaret’s Whitnash, at 8am, 10am and 6.30pm. I am happier with this one than my last, but please do let me know your thoughts (preferably before 6pm) and please do use the comment box! I somehow have to shorten it for the 8am service – no idea how I’m going to do that.

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The Resurrection and the Life

Good morning,

As our theme for today we are continuing to look at the “I am” sayings of Jesus, this morning looking at when he said “I am the Resurrection and the life”.

Now, Jesus didn't just say this while waiting in a queue at his local supermarket, he said this at a very specific and important event. As we heard in our reading, Jesus good friend Lazarus had died, and Jesus is here talking to Lazarus's sister, Martha. Martha and her sister Mary had asked for Jesus help when Lazarus was sick, because they knew that Jesus was a healer. Imagine their shock when not only did Jesus not come immediately, as it was only a few minutes drive away, but he didn't even make it to the funeral – in fact he only turned up 4 days after Lazarus had died. Why was this?

Death is an interesting word. It is almost always seen as an overwhelmingly negative thing, but in fact it is usually part of a very positive change; a caterpillar must die in order to become a butterfly, a tree must die in order to plant many more, the sun has to set before it can rise. The Hadleys have recently killed a part of their lawn in order to build a patio, sometimes bad habits have to die so that we can be healthy. As most of you will know I have been working at the Cathedral for the past year, and it is very heavily emphasised that without the destruction of the old cathedral there wouldn't be a new one, nor would its international ministry of reconciliation be doing the amazing work it continues to do today.

If I were to ask for a show of hands here for any in the congregation who have died recently, I can imagine we wouldn't have a very large number, although perhaps I would get a different result in the graveyard – but if I were to ask who here had been baptised – how many? Baptism, as well as being a sign of initiation and new life, is also a sign of death, which is about dieing to sin, and dieing to ourselves. When people are baptised by full immersion, when they go into a pool or river and literally plunged underneath the level of the water this symbolises even more powerfully the death that Christians have to undergo in order to receive new life.

I love the story of a baptism in China, where religious persecution is rife and Christianity isn't known about in many areas. The first new Christian to be baptised was looking very nervous and asked just before being dunked “How long will you hold me underwater?”. It seemed he had got his theology rather confused and actually believed he was going to die in the water, and be raised to life soon after. To him it wasn't just going to be a symbol, he thought it was the real thing!

When Jesus is pestered by his disciples to go and see Lazarus, he replies “Lazarus is dead, and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe.”

Pretty morbid stuff! I wouldn't be too happy if my doctor cut off my hand to prove he could put it back on! But Jesus has shown the disciples he can heal all illnesses, he is now taking their faith one step further on. And as we heard in the passage, he goes to Lazarus – commands him to come out of the tomb, and Lazarus walks, lives, and breathes again. This event is heavily tied up in his own death and resurrection, and he needed to convince the disciples that he could do this so that they would believe him about his own.

Jesus resurrection is the most important event that has ever happened, and probably the most widely debated as well. Many of you will remember that in 2002 a survey was taken of 2000 clergy across 4000 churches about their beliefs, and it was found that a third doubted or disbelieved in the actual bodily resurrection of Jesus Christ. This was clearly quite a shock, and I don't think the figure would be the same today – I am happy to report that it is actually a prerequisite for selection these days that one does, but even so it does show how easy it is to water down or ignore this amazing truth. And it isn't a truth without evidence – I quote Irwin H Linton, an American supreme court lawyer “it has been said again and again by great lawyers that the claims of the Christian faith cannot but be regarded as proved under the strictest rules of evidence used in the American and English courts”. I won't go into the proofs here, but if you would like to look further then the Alpha course is a great place to look at the evidence – or buying the book “Who moved the stone” by Frank Morison, himself a lawyer.

One thing I saw while watching “Plant Idol” on This morning the other day – it just happened to be on, honest, was a plant called Selagainella lepidophylla – Resurrection fern

The resurrection fern can come back from the dead. This plant is a dry curled up husk which can survive months of drought and then when dropped into water within a matter of hours turns into a lush green fern. It survives in arid climates where it adapts to the floods of a monsoon and dry conditions.

When news that Jesus was coming reached Martha and Mary, Martha, who is known in the gospels for her practical nature, ran out to meet him. What I find remarkable is that she doesn't get furious, or angry with him. She simply asserts her faith in him “I know that had you been here, my brother would not have died, but I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask”. Perhaps there is a slight moan in there that Jesus was not quicker in his response – but there is such a sense of trust there. Jesus is quick to comfort “Your brother will rise again”. Martha, being a keen theologian herself, says that she knows he will rise again on the last day, and Jesus responds to this by saying “I am the resurrection and the life”. He is confirming what she has said, but accrediting it to himself. He is the reason this will happen – nothing else will give resurrection – not being good, not praying enough, not having lots of money or giving it away. And then, almost in order to prove that he can do this – he does it then and there in a spectacular way. Lazarus in fact stays alive for one more chapter only, because the chief priests of the temple plan a cover up to stop people following Jesus because of this amazing event – and now remains in the same state as all Christians who are resting, awaiting the last day.

It is very rare these days for people to pray for others to rise from death, but it does happen – I have a good friend from university who was declared dead in the back of a Kenyan ambulance, only to breath again while her colleagues prayed for her. Ian Mcormack is an international preacher who became a Christian as a result of a diving trip gone wrong. He was stung multiple times by a box jellyfish, declared dead at the hospital and came back to life 20 minutes later, after quite a dramatic series of visions.

Obviously the cynic in all of us will look for possible explanations, ways round the possibility that this was divine intervention, but if we really believe that Jesus could heal Lazarus after 4 days dead, how much easier after 20 minutes.

But Jesus doesn't just give us resurrection, he gives us resurrection life. Well what's the big deal with that, aren't we living now?

On coke adverts and the like, with slogans like “live life to the full”, or “this is really living” what are the people usually doing, besides drinking pop. They are usually doing something exciting, something a bit radical or extreme, probably surfing. We often have this idea that working a 9 to 5 is merely a half life – real life is waiting round the corner, perhaps having a child or getting a better job, maybe falling in love or becoming a model.

I believe that what we are actually looking for is spiritual life – which is what Jesus gives us when we accept him into our hearts. We already have physical life, but what many of us don't have is any sense of a higher purpose, any idea of how our life fits in with what is going on in the world. Jesus said that he has come so that we can have life, and have it to the fullest. I would testify to this – my life isn't all excitement and surfing, but I can tell the difference between before I became a Christian and afterwards – before I was a very bored person, bored with my lot, and discontent – I lived my life through characters in films or books, and had little to look forward to. If I were to write book on my life from then till now I know it would bore anyone else to tears – but for me it would be a very good read – because it would show how God put me into his plan for his world, albeit in a very small way.

This is possibly the last Sunday I will be preaching in St Margaret's for a while, as Amy and I are off to Cambridge at the end of July to start three years of training for ordained ministry, or vicar factory as some call it. St Margaret's has been such a wonderful place to seek out our calling as well as spend our first year of married life together and we are so grateful to everyone in the Church for their prayers, fellowship and practical support, but we won't be strangers – as our sending Church you will be receiving regular updates and information and we will endeavour to visit whenever we can.

Please join me in prayer;

Lord Jesus, we well know that living in the power of your death and resurrection is not always easy, and often we lose sight of you and what you have done for us on the cross. Through your resurrection please help us to live the life you have given to us, in our work, our play and our relationships, so that we might glorify you with our lives. You give us life, and in the same way we offer our lives up to you, to do with what you will.

Amen